Back in January, I was walking in a supermarket in Phoenix, AZ for my food errands. When I showed up, I noticed a particular woman that I keep bumping into at least four times. She was a Caucasian woman in her 30s. She has dark brown hair, black eyes, wearing a white, soft sweaters in jeans in a white cloth mask. She caught my attention because the first time I saw her, she almost bumped into me at the end of the other aisle coming to mine with her cart. “Excuse me,”, she said with an expressionless face. She walked past me in a little hurry. I said, “Oh, I am sorry” with my voice out loud, even though I was deaf because she was in a hurry. 

As I was taking my time, checking in on the list of each aisle to see what they have, and finding the items I need, I keep passing by her there at least two more times. When I noticed her, I tried to give a friendly eyes-cheeking up in her perspective because I was wearing a mask, as if to say that I recognize you, but she took one look at me and walked past looking for her items. I noticed her a bit more detail about her every time. She seems a bit obnoxious, impatient or in a hurry, and she is quite attractive-looking woman. 

When I bump into her the fourth time, it was by the cashier. There were checkins where you could do it yourself. However, it was far away and I liked to be in line for the cashiers to store the foods carefully in the bag. I was a bit unorganized when it comes with packing food. I saw there were only two cashier lines open with two people each. I looked at the cashier and I recognized that man before. 

Flashback to the the last time I came grocery shopping, he was my cashier. Before I came up to his aisle, I noticed there were a couple of people who saw him walked quickly to another aisle instead of his, despite that the other aisles has more people. I was curious why when I saw that a man in his 60s, wearing glasses and his store’s uniform. He was scanning each items slowly like a sloth. I watched him pick an item slowly as if he was being careful, move his arm toward the scanner to scan the barcode of the items, and slowly put the item in the bag. One at a time! I was astonished! Nowadays, cashiers would be in a hurry to scan items. Some cashiers may be a bit slower than the other, but they all would do it in a reasonable time. I have never seen a casher that did ploddingly. I decide to be in his lane because I want to test my patience at that time and observe my emotions at those time and seeing how I would react to the situation, to see if I can overcome any impatience habits I inherited when I was an alcoholic. I put in my food on the stall and took my time. I smiled at the cashier when we saw each other. Ae he was putting items on a scanner and into my bag, like a snail, I just watched how he did his job and observing it. When he was done with the scanning, bagging my items, he looked at me in a tired expression(it doesn’t look like a smile), and told me my total. I grabbed out my wallet, put in the card machine, and paid for my food. When he handed me the receipt, I told him, “Thank you, sir! You are doing a wonderful job! I hope you would have a wonderful weekend.” He looked at me with a look that I could tell he was giving a smirk and said, “You too!” I walked home after that with a smile, hoping it made his day. 

Going back to the point, it was the man again and I chose him again. I did not chose him to test my patience. Instead, I learned from the last time that maybe he lost his pension, got laid off from his current profession, had to come out of retirements, or maybe even got arthritis. It is a pandemic and it is a difficult time for the frontline workers including me working at Mod pizza and this grocer because that was where more people come in the store and we could be in risk of getting coronavirus. Whether the reason it is, it would be nice to show compassion and following safety measures. Going on his aisle, I kept six feet distance from the woman that I bumped into. I noticed her ring when she put her left hand near the shopping cart, waiting for her turn. I noticed that her right feet was tapping the floor. The man was barely halfway finishing the customer in front of her. I noticed a couple of people behind me were waiting beside me for a few minutes and left. By the time the man finished the customer’s bags, about a few more people got behind me and gave up. One saw people walking away and took another look at the man and joined in. I did not react, but thought it was a bit bitter to see that. 

When it was the woman’s turn, I noticed she put her food in a hurry. She even made it obvious that she was in a hurry when she grabbed each items over to the stall and took several looks to him. He did not budge. He did it slowly. As the woman was waiting, she was not only tapping her feet, but also tapping her upper left chest with her right hand. That was an odd behavior to see. I have a flashback of how impatient I looked. I scoffed, sighed, and gave a bit subtle “Hurry up!” type of reaction. I saw that in her. She looked at me. We knew we were smiling at first when our eyes also cheeked up. But I know we smiled for different reasons. When the cashier finally finished the lady’s items in the bag, he handed her the receipt slowly and said, “Have a good day!” She smiled back, then showed a frowning sigh before she rushed in a hurry to her car. 

As it was my turn, I was expecting the usual slow routine that the man was doing. I cheeked up my eyes at the man with a smile n when he took one look at me. I watched him for 10 seconds before I grabbed my wallet to pull out my debit card, getting ready. As I was looking up, I was confused by what I was seeing. The man was scanning the items, putting the items in the bag in a fast, uncanny pace. It was uncanny because I have never seen that before. What even gotten help faster was another grocer just saw the man and came by to help coincidentally. 

The man looked at me in the middle of finishing putting items in my bag and his eye cheeked up. I swore I saw a little wink when he did. Thoughts were racing in my mind. Did the man took advantage of his seniority to test people? Did he really have problems with his hand or hardships? What if the reasons were both? What if neither one was the reason? Maybe he was teaching us a lesson to slow down, because people took time for granted. They were always rushing to the next thing, following through their busy schedule. Maybe in moments like this, whatever reason it was, he taught us to pause, take a breath. To take in this moment to think about what happened to your day, what to do about your problems in life, what did you appreciate about today, any thoughts to yourself that you feel are important to you. Or maybe he just want us to pause and explore the beauty around us. That we are alive. Maybe by that lesson, we showed kindness back because we never know what people are going through. 

Whatever the reason was, the man took out my receipt in a hurry and look at me with a smile. “Hope you have a good day!” I looked at him and laughed. He looked confused. I took the receipt from him, but before he let go, I said, “Sir, you just made my day! You have no idea!” He looked confused and surprised. I walked away, but not before looking back at him, at his face. He was staring down the floor and I saw something in his eye. It cheeked up. It was a smile. 

Maybe a smile in this dark times all that we need!